With distinct clarity, I see clouds passing outside my window as I lay curled into the fetal position, clutching the bed’s side rail, hearing only the sound of my breathing and unaware of people in the room or the wet cloths on my forehead. I recall the 24th time the nurses had to come in and unhook me from said monitor so that I could pee, earning me this birthing title from nurse Angela: “We’ve never had someone pee this much.” I feel the shot they gave me to reverse my labor when I couldn’t take it anymore and then 10 minutes later my water breaking as my germophobe sister sat on the side of the bed to comfort me. I remember the monotonously disturbing beep of the baby’s heart rate monitor that gives you both peace (baby is still doing OK) and worry (I’m keeping a life alive right now). I smell the cookie my sister offered me as I waited for my induction to begin the night before.
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